I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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