And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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