New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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