I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Still dying that you shit outside
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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