Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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