Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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