he wants to bone in the snuggie
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
