Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
