Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
