I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
