Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
