I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
