I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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