she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
