Your mouth is God's brothel.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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