yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
