That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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