She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
