Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
