somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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