guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
