In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
