We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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