Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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