she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
