I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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