watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
