just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
