I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
