I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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