So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
