you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
