i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
