I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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