Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
