I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
