Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
