ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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