grandma shit on top of the toilet
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
