Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So many bounce houses so little time
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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