apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
