the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The power of my boobs compel you
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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