i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
