So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dear god my vagina.
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