i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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