So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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