Umm I'm too high to move.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
