I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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