I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
