How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
